I have every intention to post about being a mom, and motherhood. I have been wanting to since mothers day, but I have put it off. That will be my next post. ( although I'm not guaranteeing it will be tonight)
In this post, I wanted to write down my feelings on what happened tonight in our home. First of all, I don't claim to be the perfect mother, or wife, or homemaker. I also don't claim to be the perfect Latter Day Saint. I honestly can't tell you the last time I pulled out my scriptures (I HATE admitting that-but I'm hoping that by admitting it, it will make me accountable for the future) okay, onto the point of this post.
Rob had to work in the office today (he usually works from home) so it was just the girls and I all day. Of course when it's just us, paisley decided to be clingy and need to be held. This started around 2PM. I put Anistyn down for her nap, and tried to do the same with paisley so I could get the kitchen and living room clean, and get dinner cooking. Well, paisley had other plans. She spit up a lot right after eating, and I didn't think much of it, I figured she ate too much. When the grumpiness and fussiness continued for a couple hours, I figured she had a tummy ache. When Anistyn woke up, I turned Mickey Mouse on (yeah, mother of the year right here) and continued to try and comfort and calm down paisley. When that didn't work, I decided to get dinner started, and proceeded to make it one handed. Rob arrived home just before 7, and by then, I was spent. I asked rob to hold paisley while I got dinner out of the oven and on the table. I got anistyns dinner for her, then told rob to go eat while I held paisley, and then we would switch. He said he was okay, and told me to eat first. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I sat down behind a plate. I hurried and ate, then took paisley so he could eat. After both of us were done, and we cleaned up Anistyn, we sat down in the living room. It was getting close to bedtime for Anistyn, so I was surprised when rob said to turn off the iPad and asked Anistyn to sit on his lap because he was going to read her a book. I didn't know what was going on, but decided to just go with the flow. I went and got Anistyn a picture book to help entertain her, and while I did that, rob played the summery of the first book of Nephi. Anistyn climbed on his lap, and he read the first chapter of Nephi. We had to stop, or ask Anistyn to sit down, but we did eventually get through it. After we were done reading, we sang "I am a child of god" and then had a family prayer. After that, I turned on one of my favorite church songs, and got Anistyn ready for bed. When she was in her bed, we kept the tv off, and I paced and rocked paisley while singing church songs. One song I sang was " what heaven sees in you" it's the song about the three white dresses. It's always been one of my favorites, but tonight, and I held my sweet baby girl and looked at her and sang it, it brought on a whole new meaning. I don't claim to be the best singer, but the way paisley looked at me, seeming so intrigued, so content, you would think she was having the best time of her short little life. I had to fight back the tears, as I sang it to her. After that song, we continued to sit there and sing church songs for almost an hour.
Now, I know this post is probably boring to everyone, and it won't be life changing for you, but who knows, maybe it will be for me. Having rob initiate the family scripture study, and prayer has made me want to resolve to do better on my own personal scripture reading, and prayers. I want to be an example to my daughters, and to my husband. I am so glad rob chose today to start this, because today I was feeling overwhelmed, and not qualified to take care of these little girls. Reading as a family, and Singing that song, and having paisley look at me, so accepting of all my short comings was all I needed.
It's 3 hours later, and I have managed to finally get paisley to sleep, and read a chapter in the Book of Mormon for my own personal study. Doing so has made me feel accomplished, and that's a wonderful feeling when your feeling overwhelmed. I'm so glad rob initiated this for our family, and I am resolving to make it a habit. If anybody is still reading this, feel free to ask me about this in the future, so I can be accountable if we slack off again. :)
